Robin Hood (2010)


As with Gladiator, Ridley Scott directs and Russell Crowe is the main man. But the magic of that earlier film is not repeated.

It’s England in 1199 and there’s intrigue afoot, with a knight conspiring against King John of England (Oscar Isaac) with King Philip of France. Chaos and conflict ensue.

Rather than a simple tale of Robin Hood and his merry men, this is a fairly “serious” historical-drama treatment that deliberately veers away from the almost-pantomime silliness of the usual story – despite shoehorning in a lame, tokenistic Friar Tuck.

For a lengthy and sometimes complex film, there’s too little explanatory material and sometimes the narrative signposting is unclear. The motivations of Sir Godfrey (Mark Strong) and Sir Walter Loxley (Max von Sydow) aren’t always evident.

Ridley Scott’s usual visual flair is on display (he’s particularly expert at large, intense battle scenes), but it lacks Gladiator’s “special” factor – perhaps because Scott takes on too much at the expense of a single, cohesive story. The film attempts to detail the Robin Hood legend, retell a slice of actual English history and develop a credible romance scenario. Cate Blanchett makes for a refreshingly tough Maid Marian and seems to have real chemistry with Crowe, so I would have preferred more of their relationship and less messy muddying of myth and reality.

Crowe is always highly watchable but his constantly changing accent – did he think he was from Scotland, Northern Ireland or Yorkshire? – was a distraction.

The plot seemed to be setting up a sequel (Robin Hood only becomes the outlaw figure of legend in the closing minutes), but – several years later – that’s looking less and less likely.

Coriolanus (2011)


Directed by and starring Ralph Fiennes, this one alienated me at first and I hated it for about 45 minutes. Set in modern Rome (although it doesn’t look like Rome), but with Shakespearean language, it really seemed to jar. I also didn’t like the brutal, bloody violence or the visuals in general, and I found Vanessa Redgrave hammy and overwrought. I don’t have an issue with modernising Shakespeare (machine guns, mobile phones), but it seemed to lack context: the where, when and why of the action.

The film improved as it went on. Fiennes is always watchable. And the ongoing thread of depicting action through TV news footage was a nice touch. There was even the neat joke of Jon Snow presenting news reports in Shakespearean English.

The themes of war, loyalty, pride and politics and so on are as relevant as they ever were, but I still wish it had been set in Ancient Rome. Even better would have been to see Fiennes performing it on stage.

The Jerk (1979)


Wildly original comedy starring Steve Martin and Bernadette Peters. It brilliantly parodies the familiar rags-to-riches life story that makes up so many conventional narratives. There are some extremely funny moments, but for such an absurd story it’s also unexpectedly touching. The scene on the beach in which Navin (Martin) and Marie (Peters) sing to each other is hugely romantic, and the latter is particularly strong in this film.

There are many hilarious moments but my favourite is probably when Steve Martin reads out the “farewell” letter from Marie. It has got wet from the bathwater and the ink has run, so what he reads out is total gibberish.

A timeless gem that still seems fresh almost 40 years on.

The Main Event (1979)


The goodwill built up by Barbra Streisand and Ryan O’Neal in the hilarious What’s Up, Doc? is quickly dispersed in this lame “comedy” that reunited the two stars. Streisand plays Hillary Kramer, a businesswoman who made a fortune through perfumes – only to have her profits embezzled by her accountant. O’Neal is a financial asset she inherits – a retired boxer who has to fight again to win back the money she is owed. This ludicrous scenario might not be a problem in itself but a bigger issue is that the film simply isn’t funny. Countless scenes fall flat. Often you’re not even sure if they are supposed to be funny. How much did the producer – Barbra’s boyfriend, the hairdresser Jon Peters – have to do with this mess? (While Peters is credited as Producer in the opening titles, Streisand appears to take all the credit for the film in the commentary on the DVD. This is especially ironic as she should have been washing her hands of the whole debacle. Elsewhere on the DVD menus she is credited as co-producer. But if she was, why wasn’t that made clear when this first showed in cinemas?)

Failed humour is one problem, but there are also dodgy themes about race and gender that really don’t feel right. At points there’s a prominent feminist theme, but at other times Streisand seems to be angling her bottom at the camera and showing off pointless costume changes far more than the plot requires. What exactly is this film trying to say?

The boxing narrative is fairly weird and never rings true, but then the inevitable love story (or “glove story”, as they call it) doesn’t seem to work either. Whereas Streisand absolutely sparkles in What’s Up, Doc?, here she cannot transcend the limitations of the script. And that script is so muddled and unconvincing that you’re left baffled rather than entertained.

Elysium (2013)


Dystopian sci-fi action thriller. It’s 2154, and Earth (specifically, Los Angeles) is a ruined slum whose inhabitants live in desperate poverty. Meanwhile on Elysium, a huge nearby space station, the elite citizens enjoy lives of luxury with advanced technology and healthcare bays that can cure seemingly anything. (The rich/poor social divide brings to mind The Hunger Games – plus, the shuttles look suspiciously similar.) A fairly convoluted plot sees this injustice and the social order challenged by a bunch of tech-savvy L.A. thugs.

Matt Damon plays the hero, Max Da Costa, who – dying of radiation poisoning – has Elysium’s data stored in a brain implant in exchange for a chance to travel there and be healed. Jodie Foster is the ruthless Defense Secretary Jessica Delacourt, who is out to stop him and who, script-wise, has little to get her teeth into. Alice Braga is Frey Santiago, Max’s childhood friend whose daughter also needs urgent medical treatment. As with Foster, she’s not given much to actually act with and the romance you expect to see never flourishes. Sharlto Copley is pretty awful as the one-dimensional nasty sleeper agent Kruger.

It’s extremely violent and there’s a lot of pointless swearing. The dialogue is banal at best. The film makes some interesting points about class and society, but risks becoming just another shoot-’em-up – albeit in a more exotic setting. You want to explore the miraculous environment of the space station, but instead have to watch sweaty men fighting and throwing hand grenades at each other. A shame, because somewhere in there is an intriguing idea that could have been developed in a much more sophisticated and rewarding way.

The Revenant (2015)


Unrelentingly grim and bloody tale of North American frontiersman Hugh Glass (Leonardo DiCaprio) trying to survive against all the odds. It’s 1823, and desperate, isolated communities of trappers and hunters battle it out in the frozen wilds. Everything horrible you can imagine happening to Glass happens to him. He witnesses his wife’s murder. He’s attacked and badly maimed by a bear. He’s nearly smothered to death by a crazed colleague. He’s buried alive. He witnesses his son’s murder. He’s swept away in river rapids. He’s shot at. He falls off a cliff into a tree. And he has to sleep inside his dead horse (after pulling out the innards). Plus, he’s intent on exacting his revenge – whatever the cost.

It’s not exactly cheerful. But the film has a primal intensity that keeps you hooked. The scenery is stunning. And DiCaprio is watchable, even beneath the beard, blood, filth and fur. Ultimately, though, it’s too harrowing and brutal to constitute entertainment. It’s unclear what you’re meant to take away from it. I was left feeling troubled and disturbed.

What’s Up, Doc? (1972)


Ingenious “screwball” comedy starring Barbra Streisand (as Judy Maxwell) and Ryan O’Neal (as Howard Bannister). The script is hilariously sharp. The slapstick is spot-on. Produced, written and directed by Peter Bogdanovich, it begins as farce and becomes increasingly ridiculous. Four identical-looking bags get mixed up in a San Francisco hotel. One contains top-secret documents, one contains expensive jewels, one contains rare igneous rocks and one contains Judy’s clothing and a dictionary. Endless mix-ups ensue, with Streisand and O’Neal eventually finding themselves being pursued by gangsters. There are countless laugh-out-loud moments. Streisand is as funny as she has ever been – an absolute delight. As a witty romp, with a dash of romance and plenty of absurdity, it’s pretty much unbeatable.

Passengers (2016)


Engineer Jim Preston (Chris Pratt) is accidentally awakened 90 years too early from long-term hibernation on the spaceship Avalon on the way to a colony planet with 5,000 passengers – a plot seemingly borrowed for Alien Covenant. Lonely, suicidal and craving company, he deliberately wakes up fellow passenger Aurora Lane (Jennifer Lawrence), thus essentially sentencing her to death on the trip with him. The film explores these moral issues as well as their complex relationship, which gets a lot more complex when she learns how she awoke. But then other things start to go wrong...

It’s a funny, scary, dramatic and romantic story that works because it’s so simple. The ship looks stunning, as do all the effects (a swimming pool during a gravity-loss malfunction), and the two main actors are perfect in the lead roles.

It’s clever the way the film parodies the bland commercial corporate-speak of the company organising the colony. Also appealing is the droid barman (Michael Sheen), who acts as a confidant to the characters and seems almost human. Rather than offering a cold, technological experience, the narrative focuses on the humanity of Jim and Aurora. It’s a delight to see a space film that’s so full of warmth.

Gladiator (2000)


This Ridley Scott-directed modern classic set in AD 180 seemed even better second time around. It looked more impressive at the cinema in 2000, but it moved me more deeply on DVD today in 2018. Russell Crowe is hugely charismatic as Maximus. He never lets you down, does he? Joaquin Phoenix is creepily compelling as the insecure, self-pitying Commodus (although, having seen I Walk the Line, I had to not think of him as Johnny Cash). In a less imaginative script this villain could have been a cardboard-cut-out baddie, but Gladiator is sophisticated enough that Commodus is sympathetic as well as repulsive. Connie Nielsen is excellent as the sister who Commodus wants an incestuous relationship with. The all-star cast also features Oliver Reed (shortly before his death), Richard Harris and Derek Jacobi.

I like the way it starts out as one kind of film (the story of a Roman general), then detours into the saga of a slave-turned-gladiator-turned-superstar-folk-hero, before somehow coming full circle as Maximus attempts to save Rome. To its credit, the film doesn’t take the obvious paths. The story seems to be pointing to one kind of resolution and surprises you more than once before the ending.

As a piece of riveting drama it’s pretty much unbeatable. Even though it’s long, I found it almost ridiculously exciting. There’s little you could change to improve it: stunning visuals, stirring music, an epic sweep, a nail-biting plot escalation and an emotional climax.

The Perfect Storm (2000)


Based on the true story written by Sebastian Junger, The Perfect Storm details the drama of the Andrea Gail, a fishing boat from the small town of Gloucester, Massachusetts, that was caught in a storm of vast proportions in 1991.

It begins by setting out the characters of the crew, and the domestic backstory is strong. You get to know their hopes, problems and motivations, so that when they finally go to sea the real action plays out with individuals you actually care about. The relationships within the team on the boat are also explored. George Clooney plays the captain and Mark Wahlberg is the inexperienced fisherman with the most to lose.

On the plus side, the storm looks amazing. Whether CGI or models were used, the disaster scenario – tiny boat dwarfed by huge waves – looks completely real. On the down side, the classical music score is intrusive and self-consciously “epic” – even corny at times. That’s a shame, because wiser decisions had been made for a bar scene near the start that’s greatly enhanced by Bruce Springsteen, Bob Marley and Tom Waits on the jukebox. Plus, there are some ethical issues. The film made a lot of money at the box office but as far as I’m aware none of that went to the survivors’ relatives. In fact, two families of crew members sued the filmmakers over issues of accuracy. Much of the plot is conjecture anyway. No one will ever know what really happened.

All things considered, it was worth seeing. Would I watch it again? Probably not. But it did inspire me to read the book.

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003)


Historical naval drama set in 1805 during the Napoleonic Wars and adapted from Patrick O’Brian’s popular fiction series. Russell Crowe plays Jack Aubrey, the captain of the English ship HMS Surprise intent on capturing the French ship Acheron. Crowe is charismatic, as ever, but I wasn’t entirely convinced that a captain so reasonable and jovial could simultaneously be so bent on pursuing an enemy. This feeling of implausibility grew as Jack Aubrey sacrificed so many of his crew for seemingly very little gain.

Plot and character motivation aside, the film does have a lot going for it. Paul Bettany is sympathetic and highly convincing as Aubrey’s friend Dr. Stephen Maturin. The baroque music the pair play together on cello and violin sounds wonderful. And the detail of life on the ship is well created, even if there does seem to be an endless supply of everything hidden somewhere within the confines of the small craft. The nature theme and the scenes in the Galápagos islands also added a layer of richness.

The two sections that will stay with me were the “Jonah” episode, in which a victimised midshipman commits suicide because he starts to believe he's bringing bad luck to the crew, and a harrowing moment in which a man overboard is left for dead when the captain has to cut the ropes of a collapsed sail that endangers the boat.

According to Wikipedia, the lack of women in the film makes it one of only “about 120 films made since 1934 with an all-male cast”.

Alien Covenant (2017)


Ridley Scott’s follow-up to Prometheus (the second in the Alien prequel saga) is an all-out space-action-horror affair. Michael Fassbender returns to the role of the creepy-genius droid David, but this time the same actor also plays a second, superficially similar droid with different programming.

A quick outline of the premise from Wikipedia: “In 2104, ten years after the Prometheus expedition, the colonization ship Covenant is seven years from reaching planet Origae-6, with 2,000 colonists in stasis and 1,140 human embryos in cold storage. The ship is monitored by Walter, an advanced android model that physically resembles David. When a shockwave damages the ship, Walter reanimates his 14 human crewmates, themselves couples/colonists. Ship's captain Jake Branson dies when his stasis pod malfunctions. While repairing the ship, the crew picks up a transmission of a human voice from a nearby planet, which appears eminently more habitable than Origae-6.”

The crew detour to the appealingly Earth-like planet, which, inevitably, is too good to be true. Before long, everything kicks off. As with Prometheus, the characters take stupid risks by walking around alone and with nothing to protect them. You just know someone is doomed when they wander off saying they will be back in a minute...

But the thrills are considerable. There are some remarkable scenes, such as an attempted take-off of the survivors’ rescue ship with the alien and the heroine Janet Daniels (Katherine Waterston) both clinging on to it. It’s like an action set-piece from a James Bond film, but set on another world and with monsters. The chase scenes in the Covenant corridors are also highly effective, but it lacks the haunting suspense and claustrophobia of the original Alien and is far less scary as a result.

The same themes about God, creation and the meaning of life are explored, but it’s tighter all round than Prometheus. It’s also more ambitious and convincing psychologically. Ridley Scott manages to have his cake and eat it, constructing a philosophical puzzler that simultaneously works as a guns ’n’ gore thriller.

Prometheus (2012)



Ridley Scott’s prequel to his Alien series is a philosophical sci-fi/horror hybrid. It looked beautiful at the cinema – the storm rolling in across an alien landscape was terrifying – but far less so on DVD. My favourite effect is when the investigators throw mapping hover-balls into the alien chambers and the laser/sonar-type scanning technology relays an instant 3D-hologram model of the caves back to the computers aboard the spaceship. Impressive. Plus, the hi-tech “self-surgery” scene is pretty harrowing.

There are some slightly baffling plot elements – why did old man Weyland of the Weyland Corporation have to hide on the mission he himself funded? – possibly to be clarified in subsequent instalments of the series. The film asks some Big Questions. Who are we? Why are we here? What is life? Is a creator the same thing as a god? Can we explain ourselves with science or do we still need religion?

Noomi Rapace and Michael Fassbender are tremendous in the lead roles. It’s a nice touch that the latter’s character models himself on Peter O'Toole in Lawrence of Arabia, which he watches while acting as caretaker on the long voyage of the Prometheus.

Guy Pearce is much less convincing as a decrepit old man. Why not simply use an elderly actor? The worst aspect is the bit-part characters, crew members Millburn and Fifield, who are so badly drawn and one-dimensional that you know from the very beginning they will have to meet a horrible, untimely death. This is a weakness of so many films that you would have thought Ridley Scott would have been able to avoid such a standard pitfall. Imagine how much more powerful the story would be if those minor characters convinced you they were real enough to make you care.

Another thing that simply doesn’t work is the lack of precaution the scientists take. They remove their helmets while investigating alien lifeforms, gleefully unconcerned that they may be exposing themselves to something very nasty indeed. Maybe that adds drama but it also makes the plot less convincing, and anything that makes you question the credibility of what you are watching erodes some of the magic.

And finally, maybe I missed something, but if the aliens seeded life on Earth in the first place (as the archaeologists’ discovery of cave paintings seemed to suggest), why did they want to return with their sticky black goo as a toxic weapon? Or will that all be explained in Alien Covenant?

Overall, it’s engaging without being satisfying.

Troy (2004)

Epic retelling of Homer’s Iliad. It’s Troy (Turkey) in the 13th or 12th century BC, when men will fight for honour, for king, for country – and for a beautiful woman. Brad Pitt plays beefy Achilles, an almost superhero-type warrior with an appropriately one-dimensional personality – he’s a mythological archetype, not a soap opera character. Orlando Bloom is weedy and ineffectual as Prince Paris, who unwisely stole Helen of Troy (Diane Kruger) from King Menelaus of Sparta (Brendan Gleeson). Eric Bana is credible as Paris’s loyal brother, the sensitive Prince Hector. And Peter O’Toole has a certain gravity as the brothers’ elderly father, King Priam. Meanwhile, Sean Bean is his usual Sean Beany self as Odysseus.

As a “sword and sandals” blockbuster, it’s effective in an unsubtle way. There are a lot of sweaty biceps – almost fetishistically displayed – and the huge battle scenes are impressive, even if they are computer-generated. In terms of the acting, it’s performed in a “high style” that’s often ridiculous but which somehow works. Again, it’s not subtle.

The famous Trojan Horse is relatively underplayed in the plot, which I liked. Also, it seemed more real because it was clearly a load of old wooden planks taken from their ships and hurriedly bashed together, rather than the finely crafted “horse” shape you often see in illustrations of the tale.

So is the film any good? I’m not entirely sure. But the source material – the decade-long Trojan War of Greek mythology – is rich and resonant enough that the story cannot really fail.

Working Girl (1988)


Intelligent and amusing Wall Street comedy-drama about a working-class stockbroker's secretary who dreams big. Like so many American films of this time, it is obsessed with social status and upward mobility. In many ways it’s a more sophisticated version of The Secret of My Success. Melanie Griffith, Sigourney Weaver and Harrison Ford are tremendous in the lead roles, really seeming to relish their parts. The script is nuanced enough that even the villain (Weaver) is likeable. It’s wonderfully 1980s – the hairspray, the shoulder pads, the pop soundtrack (Chris De Burgh’s "Lady in Red", the Pointer Sisters’ "I’m So Excited"), the New York scenes – but it has dated well because it taps into timeless themes of class, aspiration and identity. And while there are farcical elements, it resists cheap laughs and never descends into mere slapstick. The pacing is perfect, too: it builds and twists at just the right speed to keep you engaged.

In addition to the big trio of lead actors, there’s an all-star cast also featuring Alec Baldwin, Joan Cusack, Kevin Spacey and Olympia Dukakis. There are even brief appearances by David Duchovny and Ricki Lake. The theme song is the rousing but horribly overproduced "Let the River Run" by Carly Simon.

The Martian (2015)


A sci-fi disaster/survival masterpiece based on Andy Weir's gripping 2011 novel. This is an incredible film – dramatic and terrifying, but also surprisingly funny and moving. 

Astronaut Mark Watney (Matt Damon) is stranded alone on Mars when a vicious storm forces his mission to be aborted and the rest of the crew have to abandon him in their escape. Much of the story details Watney’s attempts to stay alive on the planet by drawing on his resourcefulness and extraordinary positivity. He manages to extend his survival time by farming potatoes. Another major thread covers the NASA rescue plans being debated and prepared on Earth. Meanwhile, the original mission crew (with Jessica Chastain as the commander) are in transit back home when the opportunity to turn around and save Watney becomes a possibility...

There’s so much that’s great about The Martian:
• It looks amazing, like most of Ridley Scott's work. Those vast, red Martian landscapes are striking and seem incredibly real. 
• The music is perfectly chosen (Watney is stranded with a load of disco classics) and is expertly matched to various scenes. The collage segments set to David Bowie’s "Starman" and Abba’s "Waterloo" are among the absolute highlights of the film. 
• The casting is excellent: Sean Bean, Jeff Daniels, Chiwetel Ejiofor and Kristen Wiig are all ideal in their parts. Every character counts, and so does every line of dialogue.
• The drama is perfectly paced, building to an unbearable tension in the final moments. But despite that I found myself smiling or laughing for quite a lot of the 141-minute running time. 

One other thought: it's interesting that so many of the best films of the past few years – Arrival, Gravity, Moon, Passengers and this one – have all been sci-fi.

Revolutionary Road (2008)


This faithful adaptation of the 1961 novel by Richard Yates is a fairly bleak study of oppressive suburban conformity in 1950s America, and the perils of trying to dream your way outside of it. The Wheelers are played by Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet, who famously played the couple in Titanic. (Kathy Bates is also in both films.) In fact, it almost works as Titanic II, extrapolating how their lives might have evolved had Jack lived, married Rose and settled down to have a family. Suburban malaise is expertly depicted, with a sense of desperation and emptiness always at the edges of their wealthy, comfortable existence. From the outside, they are “special” – the “perfect couple” – but the rigid gender roles and social expectations of their time and place form an invisible prison they both rage against in different ways. Ultimately the unrelenting hopelessness of it all does become a bit overwhelming, even though that hopelessness is extremely well imagined.

Wild (2014)


Harrowing true-life account of Cheryl Strayed’s 1,000-mile hike along the Pacific Crest Trail, adapted from her successful book. It’s fairly disturbing stuff, as the film chronicles her attempts to come to terms with bereavement, heroin addiction, abusive relationships and years of emotional pain. There’s a pessimistic message about men being predatory monsters. But then in Donald Trump’s America, maybe that’s the reality (see: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-45958023). The scenery is stunning. Music plays a big part, too, and I like the way Reese Witherspoon in the lead role often sings the songs on the soundtrack so that you seem to hear them on multiple levels. Simon & Garfunkel’s “El Cóndor Pasa (If I Could)” acts as a recurring theme. There’s inevitably a sense of catharsis as Strayed survives multiple threats, completes the trail and looks forward to the rest of her life. Laura Dern is especially likeable as her positive-but-doomed mother and the flashback sections detailing various stages of their relationship make up the most powerful parts of the film. Somehow it wasn’t as moving as it might have been, although it’s difficult to pinpoint why. Perhaps it’s because Strayed doesn’t emerge as a particularly sympathetic character. But then why should she? It’s to the film’s credit that she’s not portrayed as some kind of saint.

Supergirl (1984)


A ludicrous mess. Kara Zor-El, the cousin of Superman, comes to Earth in pursuit of the Omegahedron – an orb with remarkable powers. This mystical ball falls into the hands of an evil witch called Selena who, for some reason, lives in a disused fairground with her annoying friend Bianca. It’s difficult to say whose acting is worse: Peter O’Toole, Peter Cook or Faye Dunaway all ham it up like mad, wrestling with a fundamentally flawed script. Unsure whether to play it for laughs or kitsch kicks, they flail around like pantomime actors who failed their am-dram audition. Helen Slater is actually quite appealing as Supergirl/Linda Lee. There’s a vulnerability and naivety that is endearing. And the sections in which she starts at school and befriends a girl called Lucy Lane – Lois Lane’s sister, amazingly enough – hint at another, more charming film with human-interest elements you can relate to. More of this would have been welcome. But it’s wildly uneven in tone and there are colossal holes in the plot logic. For example, when Selena first acquires her sinister powers she inexplicably puts aside the thoughts of world domination she has already shared with Peter Cook. Instead, she decides to kidnap a gardener, drug him with a love potion and then – when he wanders off – uses telekinesis to steer a construction vehicle through the streets to return him to her. Why? This is one of the few action sequences, but it’s still a small-scale affair involving a few cars, some burning tyres, a water tower and some hay blowing around the street. It certainly doesn’t have the epic scale of the first two Superman films, which seemed to use the whole Earth as their set. In fact, Supergirl seems relatively low-budget despite being made for $35 million by the same production team. Despite all the woeful elements, it was just about entertaining enough for me to make it through to the end. The flying sequences are a thrill, just as they always were with Christopher Reeve, and the rare moments in which Supergirl displays her powers are enjoyable. But the film could have been so much better.

The Imposter (2012)


Documentary about a 13-year-old Texan boy, Nicholas Barclay, who goes missing in 1994. More than three years later in 1997 he is “found” living in Spain and returns to the USA to live with his family. In fact, the family has taken in Frédéric Bourdin, a serial con-artist who is French, has a different eye colour and is several years older than the vanished child. His ears look totally different, too, as is noted by the private detective who begins looking into the case. Despite the additional involvement of the FBI, it takes almost five months for Bourdin to be found out. How the family could have believed this was Nicholas – or whether indeed they did believe it – is the subject of this riveting film. It expertly weaves together interviews with the family and the imposter himself and places these in context with subtle and clever reconstructions. Barclay’s sister made a big impression on me. Her account of travelling to Spain to retrieve her “brother” – and the countdown to the moment of their meeting – is horrifically compelling. And Bourdin himself – seemingly remorseless and even smug about his deceptions – is disturbingly charismatic. The most gripping and mind-boggling documentary I’ve ever seen.

Pete’s Dragon (2016)


I loved this Disney film when I saw it at the cinema and I loved it just as much two years later on a £1 charity-shop DVD. Pete, aged four, is orphaned when his parents crash their car on a remote forest road. He meets a green (sometimes invisible) dragon, who he befriends and lives with for six years before they are discovered by the outside world and everything changes... Not very promising on paper, but this simple film is surprisingly powerful and emotional. Robert Redford is endearing as the wise old man who believes in magic. His park ranger daughter (Bryce Dallas Howard) is convincingly sensitive as Pete’s new “mother”. Pete himself is played by Oakes Fegley, who delivers one of the strongest child-actor performances I’ve ever seen. There’s an ecology message (deforestation is not good) and the CGI effects are so sophisticated that you never once doubt what you are seeing. The soundtrack is brilliantly unDisney, with Bonnie “Prince” Billy, St. Vincent and Leonard Cohen all suiting the tender tone of the film perfectly. It’s difficult to say why this simple story of love and friendship ends up being so moving, but both times I have watched it I have been left feeling profoundly touched.

Chocolat (2000)


Romantic comedy-drama. Restless spirit Juliette Binoche and her young daughter arrive in a small and small-minded French town in 1959. She opens a chocolate shop and slowly begins to transform the lives of the locals with the exotic, seductive treats she prepares. The ever-reliable Judi Dench is her cranky old landlady, who suffers from diabetes and family discord. Johnny Depp is a river gypsy, fellow outsider and, inevitably, becomes her love interest. Alfred Molina plays Comte de Reynaud, the repressive mayor who regards everything Binoche does as a threat to his control of the town. Best of all is Lena Olin as the abused wife and pretty thief Josephine, who becomes her friend.

The film is slow to get going and I was close to giving up with it in the first 20 minutes. It eventually draws you in, despite being far from “my kind of thing”. There’s some silly semi-mystical fluff about the north wind, and at times it’s all a bit too polite and simplistic. Binoche uses chocolate like a benevolent drug dealer – part sorcerer, part Nigella Lawson. Plus, it wasn’t very imaginatively shot. There are weighty themes (prejudice vs. tolerance, imprisonment vs. freedom, religious oppression vs. true enlightenment) that might make you think a bit – but only a bit. Binoche is charming and easy to like, ultimately eroding any lingering cynicism.

La Bamba (1987)


Fairly straightforward biopic of Ritchie Valens, who famously died at the age of 17 in the same 1959 plane crash that killed Buddy Holly and the Big Bopper. Lou Diamond Phillips is convincing and charming in the main role. Esai Morales is less credible and somewhat overwrought as his troubled ex-con brother Bob. Rosanna DeSoto plays their devoted mother, who helps Ritchie make it big, while Danielle von Zerneck is Ritchie’s sweet girlfriend Donna Ludwig (subject of his hit single “Donna”).

The film balances the story of two brothers with the brief, swift rise to fame of Valens. It tackles issues of race, class and poverty. The sub-plot about Donna’s father forbidding her to date Valens is not satisfactorily resolved, and there’s rather too much about the troubles of Bob, his girlfriend and their baby. That said, the story is a good one and our prior knowledge of how it will end adds tragic significance to each scene as the film unfolds.

Flashdance (1983)


Ludicrous. Alexandra lives in Pittsburgh. By day she works as a welder. By night she is an erotic dancer. But she has aspirations to be a ballet dancer. And her boss at the steel mill fancies her. Plot-wise, that’s about it. This is one of the most extreme examples of “film as extended pop video”. There’s minimal dialogue. One scene combines three different musical segments without any speaking at all. 

Being a true 1980s film, it’s full of references to social mobility. Jennifer Beals is OK as the pretty 18-year-old who dreams big and still looks immaculate after a long day of welding. The Giorgio Moroder soundtrack is a perfect window into the time. Irene Cara sings the main theme (“What a Feeling”), further linking this film to Fame, which it partly emulates (Irene Cara sang that theme too). 

But there’s something not quite right about Flashdance: the ethics are all over the place and the male lead (Michael Nouri) is merely adequate in an underdeveloped part. The sub-plot about the failed comedian goes nowhere. And the pivotal dance-academy audition scene at the end falls flat because you can tell it’s a body double – and not Beals – doing the dancing. It’s a bit of a turkey, really, and it makes Dirty Dancing look like a masterpiece. It grossed $201 million.

The Eagle (2011)


Historical drama set in AD 140 based on Rosemary Sutcliff's novel The Eagle of the Ninth (1954). After being discharged for injury in battle, a Roman officer (Channing Tatum) travels north with his slave (Jamie Bell) to the wilds of Scotland to seek the lost Roman eagle standard of his father's legion.

The film explores powerful themes of honour and freedom. It’s incredibly violent and bloody for a “12”, and the barbarian “seal people” are terrifying. One criticism is that after an impressive lack of cliché the film’s ending somehow doesn’t ring true, hinting at “bromance” action-hero tropes. The DVD has an alternative ending included as a bonus element that initially seemed far more satisfying as it allows for character development and a more multifaceted moral outlook. On reflection, I was unsure whether enough time has passed for that perspective to have shifted. So either way, the ending isn't quite right.

Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)


In the safe hands of director J.J. Abrams, this cleverly continues the Star Wars saga while simultaneously acting as a sort of franchise reboot. There are so many elements repeated from previous films – important message carried in droid, seedy bar with exotic species from across the galaxy, deadly battle station with deadly super-weapon, evil regime battled by small resistance group, person falling into deep shaft, having to blow up something huge to save the galaxy – that it seems like a homage to the original trilogy. But there are exciting new elements, too – a welcome greying of the simplistic good vs. evil extremes of yore, some charming, unexpected character-based wit emerging from the dialogue and a believably “real” visual quality we haven’t seen before. Harrison Ford plays the now-elderly Han Solo and surprisingly seems one of the weaker elements in the film – a slightly ridiculous figure. Encouragingly, however, Episode VII ushers in a credible new generation of characters and actors – Daisy Ridley as the plucky Force-sensitive Rey, Oscar Isaac as the handsome resistance pilot Poe and Adam Driver as the “new Darth Vader” Kylo Ren. The latter is especially watchable, with his temper tantrums and visibly conflicted feelings. 

All in all, it’s a rich and rewarding step forwards – and sideways – for a series that (after the prequels) badly needed this kind of care and attention.

Enigma (2001)


Tom Stoppard’s adaptation of a Robert Harris World War II thriller set at Bletchley Park in 1943. Dougray Scott plays Tom Jericho, troubled code-breaking “genius”. Kate Winslet plays Hester Wallace, best friend of Tom’s ex-girlfriend who has gone missing. The pair team up to look for the missing girl and also to crack the code that could prevent Nazi U boats attacking an Allied shipping convoy. It’s an intriguing, mostly low-key story with moments of suspense, but it’s less captivating and emotionally involving than the Alan Turing cryptography-themed biopic The Imitation Game (2014). Kate Windswept is endearing, but Jeremy Northam out-acts everyone else as the sinister Secret Service operative Mr. Wigram. Surprisingly, the film was co-produced by Mick Jagger, who has a brief cameo as an officer sat at a table during a dance. What’s unfortunate is that Alan Turing’s role in inventing the Enigma machine is completely overlooked. In fact, its creation is here attributed to a fictional character – another sad example of the glossing over of Turing’s remarkable achievements.

Moonstruck (1987)


Quirky romantic comedy starring Cher as an Italian-American widow who falls for her fiancé’s troubled, opera-loving brother (Nicolas Cage). It works like a play, with elements of farce and drama as a family finds itself tangled up in various relationship complications. Cher is fantastic as a disillusioned woman in her late thirties who suddenly remembers how to live and love. Olympia Dukakis is perfectly cast as her wise and weary mother, who finds herself on an unexpected date with Frasier actor John Mahoney. Cage is intense and charismatic. There’s gentle wit and some laugh-out-loud moments, plus a great soundtrack featuring Dean Martin, Vikki Carr and Puccini. The film avoids the clichés and pitfalls of less sophisticated rom-coms and instead offers something eccentric and distinctive.

Moon (2009)


Absolutely mind-blowing. Written and directed by Duncan Jones, David Bowie’s son, this is a clever, thought-provoking and heart-rending sci-fi masterpiece. Sam Bell (Sam Rockwell) works alone on the Moon as a mining engineer with only a computer (voiced by Kevin Spacey) for company. But events take a surreal, hallucinatory turn and he discovers that all is not as it seems (I don’t want to give away the plot twists, but what Sam learns about his situation changes everything).

The film asks deep questions about who we are, what it is to be human and how we live. It’s unbearably tense, partly thanks to the compelling music by Clint Mansell (by contrast, there’s a memorable scene that uses Katrina and the Waves’ Walking on Sunshine to comic effect). The lunar scenery is incredibly believable (models rather than CGI), as is the somewhat scruffy interior of the base. There are thematic connections with 2001, Blade Runner and Passengers. After seeing the film I felt moved and wanted to watch it again immediately.

Life Is Beautiful (1997)


A masterpiece, pretty much. Guido (Roberto Benigni) uses his extraordinary imagination to protect his young son from the reality of living in a Nazi concentration camp by presenting the whole thing as an elaborate game in which he has to score 1,000 points to win. The film begins as a gentle romantic comedy (Benigni’s real-life wife Nicoletta Braschi plays Dora, the woman he woos and marries) that’s full of frothy slapstick, and ingenious connections between threads of the story enhanced by Guido’s quick thinking. The hilarious opening section means that the sudden switch to the deeply serious second half is all the more powerful. The astonishing performance by the couple’s young son Giosuè (Giorgio Cantarini) makes the sense of innocence under threat absolutely gut-wrenching. It’s a dazzling film about the power of love, hope and the human imagination.

The Living Daylights (1987)


Initially, I thought that the first film with Timothy Dalton as James Bond was perhaps even more ridiculous than the others in the series. There are exploding milk bottles, a man who looks like David Bowie who murders people with his Walkman and a chase down a snow-covered mountain in a cello case. But then I realised that they are all this ridiculous. 

Dalton – an unpopular Bond – is actually fairly strong in the part, even if his throwaway comments after killing people continue to reinforce the notion that 007 must be a psychopath. There’s only one Bond girl, as this was the era of AIDS consciousness, and Maryam d'Abo is weak in the role. Jeroen Krabbé is OK-ish as a troublesome Soviet general, although the same actor was more convincing when he played the villain in The Fugitive. Joe Don Baker is too "pantomime" as American military enthusiast Brad Whitaker.

Overall there’s a slightly low-budget feel about it, but that actually gives it a more appealing back-to-basics quality (it’s not all exotic locations and super-yachts). But the plot – regarding the KGB, arms dealers, drug dealers and the Mujahideen – is too convoluted and I’m still not sure it entirely made sense.

Dante’s Peak (1997)


Another film viewed on TV while on holiday. Pierce Brosnan plays a volcanologist who recently lost his girlfriend in a volcanic eruption in Colombia. He now has to convince the town of Dante’s Peak to evacuate before everything kicks off. Then everything kicks off.

It’s a compelling disaster film with a genuinely dramatic visualisation of a town being destroyed by an eruption, with its ensuing rivers of lava, toxic ash clouds and devastating pyroclastic flows. Brosnan is just right for the role – it’s partly a James Bond action scenario, partly a step forwards into a more “human” part. The “love interest” is the town mayor, played by Linda Hamilton.

My only criticism is that there seemed to be a scene missing near the end at the very climax of the film. While it’s not emotionally gruelling or upsetting like The Impossible (with which it shares a family-in-peril theme), it’s an entirely believable thriller.

Romancing the Stone (1984)


Another film watched on TV while on holiday. This is an action-adventure romp starring Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner

The plot is ludicrous, but it’s also charming and fun. Turner is terrific as the lonely romantic novelist from New York who finds herself in her own romantic saga in Colombia. Douglas is passable as the male lead, an American bird smuggler. I like the line when – reading an old magazine in a crashed plane – he exclaims “Dammit, man” having finally learned that “the Doobie Brothers broke up!” 

I could have done without Danny DeVito, who seems to play the same part in every film he’s in, but even with his unfunny antics this is still highly enjoyable fluff.

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)


Finally saw this on TV, 37 years after it came out. Disappointing. It’s a good-natured swashbuckling romp that veers on pantomime in places (daft running around and escape scenes, camp bald man who takes off his shirt to have a fight, a monkey who works for the Nazis), with cartoonish violence (like James Bond, Indiana Jones can be sprayed by machine-gun fire and never be hurt). There’s also queasily intrusive music by John Williams, who lazily recycles his themes from other films (including Star Wars). On the plus side, Harrison Ford is always watchable (he was at the height of his good looks) and Karen Allen is impressive as the love interest Marion Ravenwood. The ending is utterly preposterous, with the semi-realist narrative suddenly turning supernatural. As with all Steven Spielberg films except for Duel and Jaws, I couldn’t quite see what all the fuss was about.

12 Angry Men (1957)


Courtroom drama directed by Sidney Lumet. This is a slow-burner set in one (sweaty) room. It’s all about the dialogue. One man in a jury of 12 attempts to challenge a guilty verdict and makes his colleagues begin to question what they believe they know and the prejudices informing the ways they think. It should be a set text for all students of law or psychology, studying as it does the way people behave in groups and how we are all swayed by one another and the power of the mob.

Henry Fonda is excellent as the voice of reason who gently but persuasively begins to make a difference in a group of people ready to send a young man to his death. In an era when democracy and freedom is under threat, it’s more relevant than ever.

Emma (1996)


Disappointing version of the Jane Austen novel starring Gwyneth Paltrow as the meddling girl who manipulates the affairs of those around her. The incidental music is intrusive, and dialogue that sparkles on the page somehow fails to come alive. At times there is a tired Sunday-evening-TV-drama feel to it. I’m still not sure if Ewan McGregor can act. There are flashes of wit, but not enough of them – baffling given the richness of the source material. It improves as Emma undergoes her character development, but Clueless, which adapts and updates the same story, is a far more entertaining and successful tribute to Austen’s talent.

Dirty Dancing (1987)


I had never seen this before. Almost a third of a century after its release I spent £1 to find out what all the fuss was about. Nineteen eighty-seven is the year of 1980s films. This film is so 1980s that it simply cannot convince you it is set in 1963. Not only does the music lurch between the decades, but also the fashions. Patrick Swayze acts with his sweaty muscles (he’s topless for much of the film), while Jennifer Grey is charming as the wide-eyed daddy’s girl who learns how to dance – and live her life.

Thematically, there’s plenty going on: a thread about class prejudice, the young vs. old generational divide and the sense of a new, more liberated world about to arrive. One flaw is the way that – as per the style of the times – it breaks down into a pop video at certain points, including the narrative climax when you get the big hit ‘(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life’ by Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes.

Curiously, the mother of the family is almost entirely absent from the narrative. She barely gets to speak. Only the father’s opinion matters regarding their daughter’s behaviour. I hope this was the filmmakers making a point about sexism rather than forgetting to develop an integral character. That said, there’s plenty to enjoy – the period detail of a simpler time, the soundtrack (when it stays in the correct era) and the warm evocation of a long-gone American innocence at a Catskills resort.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014)


Despite the confusing title, this is the second film in the rebooted series. It’s incredibly intense. Ten years have passed and human civilisation has been decimated by the Simian Flu. The apes are living in the forest outside San Francisco in an advanced civilisation beyond that of cavemen, with buildings, developed relationships and basic language. Inevitably, this fragile human/ape coexistence is threatened when the humans intrude on the apes’ living space in their quest to restore a local power source at a hydroelectric dam. Before you know it, there’s all-out war.

As with Rise of the Planet of the Apes, the CGI is remarkably convincing. There are hefty themes about war, peace, trust, power, politics and social organisation. And there’s a lot of shooting. The film challenges the usual monsters-are-bad logic by letting the apes and humans be equally complex, with factions of both species intent on seeking conflict and peace. It’s gripping throughout, as well as strangely moving.

Steel Magnolias (1989)


Moving comedy-drama adapted from Robert Harling’s play. Indeed, it works very much as a theatrical piece with long, set scenes and acts. The story concerns six women in a small Louisiana town and examines how their lives interact. At the heart of it is a mother–daughter relationship. There are laughs and tears aplenty. Dolly Parton is a natural as the local beautician. Daryl Hannah proves she really can act as the timid newcomer who gets religion. Julia Roberts is the just-married daughter battling severe diabetes and Sally Field is her endlessly worried mother. Shirley MacLaine and Olympia Dukakis are also just right for their parts as older members of the community. The male characters (including Sam Shepard as Dolly Parton’s distant husband) are deliberately played down, allowing the film to keep its focus on the six women. Things are slow to get going and I didn’t think I was enjoying it, but matters improve when the narrative kicks in and ultimately works round to an emotional and satisfying conclusion.

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (2002)


Episode II is even more awful than you remembered. There is so much wrong with it... Some of the worst “acting” you will ever see. Flat dialogue. “Jokes” that simply are not funny. Brightly lit green-screen sets that never seem real. Ponderous, almost faux-Shakespearean exchanges that hint at a weighty “significance” that never arrives. When Anakin tries to do “romance” – declaring his love for Padmé Amidala (Natalie Portman) – or indeed any kind of acting, it is excruciating. Hayden Christensen is way out of his depth and grotesquely miscast in the role of the troubled child about to become the evil dictator Darth Vader. Never once can you believe in him.

As with Episode I (1999), the weakest in the series, there’s something fundamentally “not quite right” about the whole film. There’s way too much of Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) just...wandering around. And, but for a few action scenes, it’s incredibly s-l-o-w. Hard to believe this was designed to appeal to kids. Ian McDiarmid as Palpatine is the one redeeming feature.

Roxanne (1987)


Lovely romantic comedy: a retelling of the 1897 play Cyrano de Bergerac by Edmond Rostand. Steve Martin plays the wonderfully gifted fire chief for the small town of Nelson, who just happens to have a huge nose. He falls in love with a visiting astronomer, Roxanne (Daryl Hannah), who unfortunately is drawn to a good-looking dimwit instead. The love story is just part of the charm. There’s so much touching detail about how the people of the town live their lives, from the inept volunteer firemen to the various characters you get to know in Nelson’s bars, shops and cafés. Steve Martin is riveting as the aerobic, intellectual, poetic fire chief who eventually wins over the woman he loves. It’s heartwarming but also very funny for much of the time.

Ocean's Eleven (2001)


Completely unbelievable casino heist thriller. Some of the 11 criminals are caricatures, while Brad Pitt just eats during every scene. There are too many things in the plot that simply couldn’t happen, such as when they need to create a power cut and so steal a big piece of scientific equipment to release an electromagnet pulse that plunges all of Las Vegas into darkness. The guy with the English cockney accent is plain embarrassing. Why do American films and TV shows so often completely misjudge how English people speak? 

George Clooney is charming as Danny Ocean and Andy Garcia is convincingly nasty as the evil casino owner, but it’s too visually stylised and self-conscious to let you ever become fully engrossed in the story. 

Would I watch it again? No.

Fantastic 4 (2005)


Ludicrous Marvel film, which I found – still shrinkwrapped – on a bench in West Finchley. Plot: five people are exposed to mysterious cosmic rays while in space and are granted special powers. One of them becomes a baddie. The other four – the fantastic four – team up to use their powers for good. These powers are: 1. stretchy limbs, 2. strength, 3. fire/flying, and 4. invisibility. It’s shallow and forgettable. It wants to be funny and exciting but isn’t really either. The lame romance plot between Stretchy and Invisible limps along. Overall, it’s fairly poor – the sort of DVD I’d only watch if I found it on a bench.

The Family Stone (2005)


Funny and moving comedy drama about a family Christmas. The eldest of several children brings his girlfriend (Sarah Jessica Parker) to meet the family, with all sorts of unexpected consequences. There’s romance and tragedy, conflict and farce, and a lot of highly amusing moments along the way. Diane Keaton is superb as the mother – the centre of the family – who is dying of cancer. But unusually, every character is perfectly played and the writing is expertly judged. It tackles prejudice about privilege, deafness and homosexuality with a lightness of touch that stops it being heavy-handed. And ultimately, it’s as heartwarming a story as you’d expect from a Christmas film, but with enough sharp observation to prevent it ever becoming schmaltzy or predictable.

Sliding Doors (1998)


Intriguing romantic drama about a parallel-universe “What if?” life split in two. Gwyneth Paltrow and John Hannah are convincing in the lead roles, but the actors playing her cheating slimy boyfriend and his ludicrous mistress are terribly hammy. The boyfriend could have been evil but charming, but instead he’s just hopelessly unappealing so you have no idea why two women would like him so much – a major flaw. Plus, there’s a lot of swearing. On the plus side, Paltrow, an American, sustains an English accent. It’s set in west London and there are familiar landmarks aplenty. The potentially confusing mirror storylines work well in tandem and the film even manages a satisfying ending, which you would guess would be impossible. It “makes you think” as well as being entertaining.

The Italian Job (1969)


This is rightly regarded as a classic, but I never knew what all the fuss was about until I finally watched it today. No one told me how hilarious it was, either. What an amazing film! Michael Caine is dazzling as Swinging Sixties playbook crook Charlie Croker (note all the costume changes at the start) set on an audacious scheme to steal £4 million in gold. The Italian scenery is stunning. The car chases are spectacular. The music by Quincy Jones is perfectly suited to the film. There’s a self-conscious Britishness, too, from the “red, white and blue” Minis to the way Mr. Bridger (Noël Coward) worships the Queen. And the “cliffhanger” ending is one of the best I’ve ever seen.

Mannequin (1987)


Ludicrous romantic comedy about an enterprising young man in Philadelphia who discovers he has a gift for window-dressing, then falls in love with a shop mannequin...who just happens to be a reincarnated beauty from Ancient Egypt. The main couple (Andrew McCarthy and Kim Cattrall) are entertaining and the impossible fairytale romance has a certain charm – as in Splash. However, the bit-part actors including James Spader, are uniformly appalling, with poor lines and a complete lack of comic flair. Entire scenes fall flat, many of them involving the pathetic security guard and his dog. As with The Secret of My Success, from the same year and which I had watched the day before, it’s very much a film about upward mobility, such were the prevailing values of the time. And yet, despite its awfulness, there are some entertaining and even heartwarming moments. The soundtrack is utterly of its time and when “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” by Starship begins playing, it’s not remotely surprising. I don’t regret watching it, but I probably don’t ever need to see it again.

The Secret of My Success (1987)


From the DVD box: “Can a kid from Kansas come to New York to conquer the business world and manoeuvre his way from the mailroom to the boardroom in a matter of weeks? Michael J. Fox proves it can be done in this very funny lampoon of corporate business life. Fresh out of college, he’s determined to climb New York’s corporate ladder in record time by masquerading as an up-and-coming executive, even though he’s really the new mail boy. However, Fox’s plans begin to go awry when the boss’s wife falls in love with him and he falls in love with a junior executive, who also happens to be the boss’s mistress.

One of the most “1980s” films of them all, from the poundingly intrusive pop-video soundtrack to the romance with corporate life and the belief in upward mobility, it’s surprisingly quirky and entertaining. And the way it mutates into an old-fashioned farce with mistaken identities and tangled relationships is cleverly plotted. Helen Slater seems intended to resemble Lady Diana. One of the funnier scenes involves Michael J. Fox on the phone to his mother, trying to reassure her that everything is okay as he witnesses an armed robbery right next to him in the street.

The Fugitive (1993)


Harrison Ford is highly watchable as the smart Chicago doctor Richard Kimble, on the run after being wrongly accused of murdering his wife. Tommy Lee Jones is credible as the tough US marshall on his trail. It could have been awfully clichéd, but somehow ends up refreshing and compelling throughout. I especially liked the hair-raising “dam” sequence.

Thelma & Louise (1991)


What a great film. The two stars – Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon – are so compelling to watch. The scenery is stunning. The story works on many levels – road movie, thriller, feminist statement, homage to the likes of Bonnie & Clyde (1967), a story of friendship, and a study of personal development and transformation – that it’s captivating to see it unfold. There’s really nothing you could add or remove to improve it.