Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (2002)


Episode II is even more awful than you remembered. There is so much wrong with it... Some of the worst “acting” you will ever see. Flat dialogue. “Jokes” that simply are not funny. Brightly lit green-screen sets that never seem real. Ponderous, almost faux-Shakespearean exchanges that hint at a weighty “significance” that never arrives. When Anakin tries to do “romance” – declaring his love for Padmé Amidala (Natalie Portman) – or indeed any kind of acting, it is excruciating. Hayden Christensen is way out of his depth and grotesquely miscast in the role of the troubled child about to become the evil dictator Darth Vader. Never once can you believe in him.

As with Episode I (1999), the weakest in the series, there’s something fundamentally “not quite right” about the whole film. There’s way too much of Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) just...wandering around. And, but for a few action scenes, it’s incredibly s-l-o-w. Hard to believe this was designed to appeal to kids. Ian McDiarmid as Palpatine is the one redeeming feature.

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