Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)

A ludicrous mess. Part four of the popular series stars Mark Wahlberg as an inventor, Nicola Peltz as his daughter and Jack Reynor as her boyfriend. The baddies are played by Stanley Tucci and Kelsey Grammer. 

The plot (borrowed from the internet): “The Autobots, a faction of robots from the planet Cybertron, are hunted down by an elite CIA black ops unit and a ruthless bounty hunter. They turn to a struggling inventor and his daughter for help.”

It turns out that it was the Transformers, and not a meteorite, that caused the death of the dinosaurs. 

The robots have been given silly voices and accents, which makes them a lot less scary. One of them even seems to have a beard and a cigar. Why? It’s nice to see them transform out of cars and lorries, but it’s utterly exhausting to see so much “impossible” CGI so quickly unfolding for such a long time. The running time of 165 minutes is wildly excessive. 

Everything is so big, loud, fast and explosive that the film quickly finds it has nowhere left to go. In dramatic terms, it’s a disaster: you are left completely numb by the relentlessness of it. But on the plus side, it’s unintentionally funny and some of the daft dialogue is absolutely priceless. For example: “Autobots, we’re going to prove who we are! That’s why we’re here!”

Sing Street (2016)

In Dublin in the mid-1980s, a boy named Conor (Ferdia Walsh-Peelo) is sent to a new school because his parents – on the brink of separating – can no longer afford to keep him at the old one. At the Synge Street school, Conor is bullied by the headmaster as well as by the kids, but finds solace with a handful of friends with whom he forms a band. Mostly, he just wants to impress Raphina (Lucy Boynton), who he sees outside the school and immediately fancies. 

Written and directed by John Carney, this has the small-town charm and romance of Gregory’s Girl. It’s funny and endearing, and has you rooting for Conor from the very start. The music is terrific, too – both the original material that Conor writes with the band and also the records that his brother Brendan (Jack Reynor) “educates” him with (The Cure, Joe Jackson and so on). 

There are some priceless scenes, such as when the family watch and discuss Duran Duran on Top of the Pops, or when the band are encouraged to wear make-up to film a video. There’s also plenty of poignancy, and some of the school cruelty sections are unbearable. But without giving way to sentimentality, it resolves into a hugely satisfying and heartwarming conclusion.