Lethal Weapon (1987)

Buddy-based L.A. police drama that’s very much an inferior version of Beverly Hills Cop. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about, but I couldn’t really. 

Mel Gibson plays a “troubled” policeman wrestling with bereavement and mental health issues. He’s teamed up with Danny Glover to investigate the death of a woman who appears to have leaped from an apartment balcony. 

It’s a little hammy, the villains (including Gary Busey) are woefully one-dimensional and it feels very “TV movie” in places. But Gibson and Glover work well together, with a certain chemistry, even though the macho aspects of the plot are ludicrous. At the end, for example, Gibson engages in a lengthy fight with the villain when he could have simply arrested him. 

To some extent, you have to buy into Gibson’s whole style – twitchy and “on the edge” – for the film to work at all. If you can’t engage with his persona, or you find him merely ridiculous, then you’re left with a fairly ordinary thriller. 

My copy is the “director’s cut” but I’ve no idea what was removed or added for this version. 

It’s worth watching if you’re curious about 1980s blockbusters, as I am, but I don’t ever need to see it again.

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (2010)

Oliver Stone’s disappointing and unnecessary sequel to his original 1987 Wall Street hit, which was itself patchy. Michael Douglas returns as Gordon Gekko. He’s out of prison and says he wants to reconnect with his estranged daughter (an unconvincing Carey Mulligan). That daughter’s fiancé (Shia LaBeouf) is himself a Wall Street wizard and begins his own wheeler-dealing with Gordon Gekko. Josh Brolin plays a smooth, ruthless banker who gave evidence against Gekko in the past.

It’s a frustrating film that feels slow in parts and plain odd in others. Naff visuals don’t help: sometimes there are fussy split-screen effects, and at a couple of points we see crudely literal representation of “dominoes falling” and “science”. 

Susan Sarandon has a bit part that doesn’t really work, and Charlie Sheen has an awkward cameo purely as a nod to his role in the first film. He wasn’t very good in that either. 

Michael Douglas is always compelling, but it’s a genuinely baffling story that simply did not need to be told. The bolted-on happy ending suggests that Oliver Stone is muddled about how he feels about Gordon Gekko. He seems to be in love with the character and unable to make up his mind about whether he’s a nice guy or a baddie. Instead, he gives him a line about all of us being mixed bags who should give each other a break. After two films, that just seems like a cop-out.

The Informers (2009)

Muddled adaptation of short stories by Bret Easton Ellis about a bunch of loosely associated dysfunctional, alienated Los Angeles people in 1983.

It completely lacks charm or intrigue. The sex, drugs and rock ’n’ roll feels forced and clichéd. None of the characters seems to care about anything, so why should we care about them? It makes the mistake of being every bit as empty, vacuous and depressing as the world it portrays.

There’s an all-star cast including Billy Bob Thornton, Kim Basinger, Winona Ryder, Mickey Rourke and Chris Isaak, and some of the individual performances are reasonable enough. But none stand out and the film doesn’t really hang together. What works well on the page seems flat and even annoying in this jarring, unrewarding mess.

Midnight in Paris (2011)

Charming Woody Allen comedy-drama about an American screenwriter and would-be novelist named Gil Pender (Owen Wilson) on holiday in Paris with his rather superficial fiancé Inez (Rachel McAdams) and her insensitive parents. 

While Gil begins to feel distant from Inez, with whom he evidently has little in common, he finds himself transported to the Paris of the 1920s that he idealises so much. Indeed, every night he travels back in time and begins to mingle with notable Bohemians and artists including F. Scott Fitzgerald, Zelda Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, Gertrude Stein, Salvador Dalí and so on. Should he stay in the past, or is it just a nostalgic distraction from what’s really important in the present?

It’s remarkable how much Owen Wilson takes on the “Woody Allen-type character”. Even his speech patterns and mannerisms are Allen-esque.

If you can accept the fantasy/time travel premise, there’s plenty to enjoy. The film asks some interesting philosophical questions but never becomes too serious or ponderous. There are roles for Carla Bruni and Lea Seydoux as well as Michael Sheen, Kathy Bates and others.

The Intern (2015)

Comedy drama by Nancy Meyers, with interesting adjustments to the same formula she used for Something’s Gotta Give and It’s Complicated. 

Robert De Niro is Ben, a 70-year-old retired widow who goes to work for an internet fashion business run by the brilliant young entrepreneur Jules (Anne Hathaway). He’s smart, wise and generous, and as her unlikely intern he eases her stress – helping her become more efficient in the office. Ultimately, he helps her with every aspect of her life – from childcare to marriage guidance. 

As always with Meyers, it’s an aspirational film obsessively focused on wealthy people and how they live. There are lovingly presented interiors of huge homes and office spaces where everything is new and expensive. The sun-dappled streets of New York also look immaculate (Meyers has a distinctive lighting style). There’s not a hint of true urban living, just as there’s virtually no one who isn’t white, rich and successful. This was made for people of a certain age and with a certain value system. 

It's slightly better than those two previous films, however, because the parts played by De Niro and Hathaway are well written, nicely observed and persuasively performed. But Rene Russo is oddly underused as the masseuse that Ben falls for. And a plot thread about Jules’ mother fizzles out completely after a silly interlude in which Ben and his colleagues break into her mother’s house to delete an e-mail sent to her in error. The other male characters are all awkward and self-consciously drawn. It’s as if an old person wanted to describe what young people are like. The strangest section comes in a hotel room scene (that seems to recall Lost in Translation) when Jules cries because she doesn’t want to be buried alone and the saintly Ben says she can be buried next to him and his former wife. It’s unclear whether this is meant to be touching or funny. I found it a little creepy. 

Despite and because of all of its jarring superficiality, The Intern is fascinating. Nancy Meyers is a highly skilled filmmaker, so it’s a shame she gets distracted by fancy kitchens.

The End of the Affair (1999)

Neil Jordan’s adaptation of Graham Greene’s classic 1951 novel, which had previously been adapted by Edward Dmytryk in 1955, is by far the better of the two films. It’s rare that this is the case with remakes, but if anyone could fashion a satisfying film from this material it was Neil Jordan. 

During World War II, writer Maurice Bendrix (Ralph Fiennes) falls in love with Sarah Miles (Julianne Moore), the wife of a civil servant (Stephen Rea). But other forces keep the couple apart. Whereas the 1955 film is awkward and improbable, this remake comes alive as a psychological drama because the characters are three-dimensional and sympathetic. You can really believe that Sarah and Maurice love each other because the acting is so strong. 

There’s also an excellent performance by Ian Hart as the detective assigned to follow Sarah’s activities. 

Graham Greene’s somewhat overwrought handling of Catholic themes is softened here so that the character motivations become credible.

Two for the Money (2005)

Extremely unusual drama

Al Pacino plays a charismatic gambling addict who has built a career advising other gamblers on which way to bet on American football games. He meets Matthew McConaughey, who is so talented at selecting winners that he gets it right 80% of the time. Meanwhile, Rene Russo plays Pacino’s wife, who forms part of a complicated love triangle with the two men. 

It works on lots of levels. It’s primarily a study of the relationship between the two men. But it’s also about the psychology of gambling and addiction. 

The tone is peculiar. Parts of the film feel like a comedy without jokes. There’s also a homoerotic subtext, with McConaughey’s rippling, sweaty muscles often displayed in close proximity to the adoring Pacino. 

I found it hugely watchable because the three main performances were so strong. It seemed initially trashy but acquired a kind of depth as it progressed.

The Debt (2010)

Remake of a 2007 Israeli film called Ha-Hov. 

In 1965, three young Mossad agents attempt to capture a Nazi war criminal called Dieter Vogel. Their plans go wrong and he escapes. The agents choose to give a false account of what happened and live with that lie permanently. That is, until Vogel shows up 30 years later and their deception risks being exposed. 

This is an excellent drama that successfully tells parallel stories separated by three decades. It’s centred on Rachel, who is believably played by Jessica Chastain in the 1960s scenes and Helen Mirren in the 1990s sequences. Sam Worthington and Ciarán Hinds both play David Peretz, while Marton Csokas and Tom Wilkinson both play Stefan Gold.

Jesper Christensen is suitably creepy as the so-called “Surgeon of Birkenau”.

The Debt asks deep questions about morality, and the plot is pleasingly unpredictable. It's scary, too.

Children of Men (2006)

Co-written and directed by Alfonso Cuarón, this is a remarkable dystopian thriller adapted from a novel by P. D. James. 

It’s 2027 and the world has gone to ruin. For 18 years, humans have been infertile. When the youngest person dies, it’s a major news event. Meanwhile, Theo Faron (Clive Owen) finds himself looking after a girl (Clare-Hope Ashitey) who – miraculously – is pregnant. He attempts to transport her to safety amid anarchy and violent hostility. 

It’s a terrifying drama because it looks and feels so real. Maybe it’s the grim English locations or perhaps it’s the brilliant, deadpan script, but it’s utterly believable. Other details help – the old car that won’t start, or the pair of flip-flops Theo has to wear. The appalling treatment of immigrants doesn’t even seem like a prediction any more, after Donald Trump’s treatment of Mexicans and the UK Conservative government announcing plans to fly people off to Rwanda. 

Clive Owen – always excellent – is really at his best here. Michael Caine is superb as an ageing hippy drug dealer called Jasper. And Julianne Moore is great as Theo’s estranged wife, although I wish she was in the film for longer. 

It’s disturbing and thought-provoking, but with moments of humour too. A masterpiece.

The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)

Brilliant adaptation of the Patricia Highsmith novel, starring Matt Damon as Tom Ripley, an inventive young man who infiltrates and ultimately ruins the lives of a couple played by Jude Law and Gwyneth Paltrow. 

It’s brilliantly plotted, with Ripley somehow staying on top of the absurd twists and turns of the various crises he creates. Matt Damon is superb in this part – charming enough to be credible as someone the couple instantly like and creepy enough to always present a sense of nervy threat. 

Cate Blanchett and Philip Seymour Hoffman are both excellent in supporting roles. 

The Italian scenery looks stunning too.

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)

Third and final part of Peter Jackson’s (first) Tolkien trilogy. 

It’s ridiculously epic in terms of length (over three hours) and narrative scope (action across multiple kingdoms). There’s a more emotional aspect, too, making this the strongest of the three films. 

As before there’s plenty of soaring choral music and once again it’s probably best not to ask too many questions about the rules behind when, where and how the “magic” can be applied.

I would have liked a better resolution of the plot thread about Éowyn (Miranda Otto) and her love for Aragorn (Viggo Mortensen), who goes off with the elf lady played by Liv Tyler, but the film was long enough already.

The most striking aspect is that it’s extremely unusual to see a film about hetrosexual male love. But if nothing else, this is a study of exactly that. The tender, selflessly generous understanding between Sam (Sean Astin) and Frodo (Elijah Wood) is explored with real sensitivity. It ends up being hugely touching, despite all my cynicism.

The Informant! (2009)

Based on the book by journalist Kurt Eichenwald and directed by Steven Soderbergh, this is a biographical comedy-drama about Mark Whitacre, the whistleblower in the lysine price-fixing conspiracy of the mid-1990s. 

The story is fascinating and Matt Damon is watchable in the lead role. What spoils it is the deliberately “cheesy” tone achieved by Soderbergh, who applies irritatingly chirpy and “comedic” music to nearly every scene. I’ve never known music to be more poorly judged or matched to a film. It only underscores that the story and situations we see unfolding aren’t particularly funny. The Informant! (why the exclamation mark?) could have been far more compelling as a straightforward biographical drama.

The same corny stylings ruined Ocean's Eleven, too, so I’ve come to conclude that this director’s work simply isn’t for me.

Green Zone (2010)

Exciting thriller loosely based on real events and directed by Paul Greengrass, with the familiar, dynamic style that makes his best films so watchable. 

It’s 2003 and Matt Damon is a US soldier in Baghdad, leading a unit in the search for Weapons of Mass Destruction. But working with a member of the CIA (Brendan Gleeson) and a journalist (Amy Ryan), he comes to realise that there aren’t any weapons to find and that the government has acted on false information. 

It’s a thriller, a war film and a conspiracy drama. 

Matt Damon – rarely less than brilliant – is as riveting as he ever was. 

The fast cuts make it especially exciting, and I like the "low-res" visuals (which were no doubt exceedingly expensive).

Ray (2004)

Excellent biopic of the popular musician, starring Jamie Foxx. 

It manages to cram in a lot of song performances as well as back story about the death of Ray's young brother and the loss of his vision as a child. There’s also a fair bit about his complicated personal life and his heroin addiction. Foxx is excellent at playing the wildly talented but conflicted character who is simultaneously worshipped and misunderstood. 

Director Taylor Hackford gets away with sometimes tricksy visuals (neon signs floating across the screen as text, and so on) by making them work in the context of the narrative.

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

Second part of the trilogy. More running around Middle-earth uttering fairly ludicrous statements and looking serious. 

You simply need to take it at face value that this creature/thing can out-magic that creature thing, or that this mystic power can thwart that one. 

There’s little here that wasn’t done better in the first instalment, which had a more unified narrative. Also, the segments featuring the walking, talking living trees dragged and detracted from the dynamism of the big battle scenes. 

The best thing about the series is Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn Elessar. He’s fun to watch, unlike the loutish Gimli (John Rhys-Davies) and the silly baddie with hair like Cher (Christopher Lee). 

It suffers from “mid-trilogy” problems in that it has to build on or develop themes from the previous film without the luxury of being about to resolve any of them.

Sommersby (1993)

From the back of the DVD: “People remember Jack Sommersby. They know him as a bitter, loutish man. But when Jack returns home after the Civil War, he's tender, caring and resourceful. Has the war changed him. or is the man calling himself Jack Sommersby an impostor?”

This is a brilliant drama starring Richard Gere and Jodie Foster as a married couple living in extraordinary circumstances. There are themes of identity running through it – Jack may or may not be who he says he is – and it also explores issues of race and personal relationships.

Foster and Gere are both excellent, juggling several plot threads: the story about who Jack is, the story of their marriage and the story of the town's agricultural fortunes. It’s moving and it keeps you guessing. 

James Earl Jones has gravitas as a judge, even if I can only hear him as Darth Vader.

Legends of the Fall (1994)

Family saga, domestic drama, western, war film, homage to Native American traditions and mini-history of the USA. 

Three brothers live with their father (Anthony Hopkins) in the wilderness and plains of Montana. The youngest, Samuel (Henry Thomas), is due to marry Susannah (Julia Ormond), but his would-be wife is attracted to the middle brother Tristan (Brad Pitt) and simultaneously yearned for by the older brother Alfred (Aidan Quinn). These conflicting emotions play out against the changing times (World War I, Prohibition), and – in Tristan’s case – against the Native American traditions he embraces. 

This is an unusual, intelligent film that covers a lot of narrative ground but never becomes trite or silly. 

There are excellent performances all round. It’s moving but not sentimental. Hopkins a little wasted in terms of minimal dialogue, but when he’s on he’s very good. Pitt is better than usual, too, rising to the challenge of being at the centre of the story.

Young Guns (1988)

British gentleman John Tunstall (Terence Stamp) employs several youthful cowboys to tend his cattle on the New Mexican frontier. But after Lawrence G. Murphy (Jack Palance) murders Tunstall, those young guns seek revenge...

Directed by Christopher Cain, this is a competent western that doesn’t break any new ground and doesn’t really need to. It was presumably created to show off these popular, good-looking actors (including Kiefer Sutherland and Charlie Sheen) in a group format that justified an ensemble cast.

Emilio Estevez is convincingly unpredictable as William H. Bonney a.k.a. Billy the Kid, although he just made me yearn to re-watch  Sam Peckinpah's superior Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

First part of Peter Jackson’s version of J. R. R. Tolkien’s fantasy epic. 

A hobbit called Frodo Baggins (Elijah Wood) journeys through Middle-earth to destroy a ring containing immense evil power. Along the way there are battles and mystical happenings that help and hinder his progress. 

I was somewhat dreading watching this – anything with wizards, elves, magic and beards is a big turn-off – but it was better than I thought. The storytelling is coherent and the acting is above par. 

Ian Holm, Ian McKellen, Liv Tyler, Cate Blanchett, Orlando Bloom, Christopher Lee, Sean Bean and Andy Serkis, among others, all do their bit. It’s ludicrous, but they take it seriously enough to make it just about hang together. 

My objection remains the arbitrary-seeming, make-it-up-as-you-go-along “rules” (i.e., this sword will glow blue when orcs or goblins are approaching) that typify fantasy. This thing has this power. That thing can defeat this thing. This other thing can destroy that other thing.

Hot Fuzz (2007)

Police Officer Nicholas Angel (Simon Pegg) is sent away from London, for being too good at his job and showing up his colleagues. Transferred to the sleepy village of Sandford, Gloucestershire, he expects a frustratingly quiet life with his amateurish partner Police Constable Danny Butterman (Nick Frost). But inevitably there’s far more going on there than he realises. 

This is a comedy from the same team behind Shaun of the Dead, and it's almost as sharp. Anyone who’s anyone in British acting/comedy pops up, including Bill Bailey, Jim Broadbent, Steve Coogan, Timothy Dalton, Martin Freeman, Stephen Merchant, Bill Nighy, Rafe Spall and Edward Woodward. 

It’s funny and silly, with a lot of jokes crammed in. Not all of them work, but there are enough that do to keep you entertained.

Invictus (2009)

Directed by Clint Eastwood, this film tells the story of the Springbok rugby team in South Africa and how their profile was boosted with the support and encouragement of Nelson Mandela. They went on to win the 1995 Rugby World Cup, boosting notions of racial harmony in the process. 

Matt Damon plays the team captain and Morgan Freeman plays Mandela.

While Freeman’s impersonation of the president may be accurate, there’s something about this old man playing another old man that ends up being ponderous and extremely dull. It could be his slow speaking manner or the rather flat way the scenes are directed, but the first half feels slow and laboured. Also, Matt Damon’s character is hardly developed at all. He’s highly watchable, but he doesn’t have much to get behind in terms of the role. His girlfriend and family are even sketchier. Also, the racial stuff seems simplistically handled. 

On the plus side, things improve a lot once the actual rugby begins. The final is exciting and dynamic in a way that little else in the film is.

Ondine (2009)

A drama that cleverly keeps you guessing until the end. 

Syracuse a.k.a. "Circus" (Colin Farrell) is an Irish fisherman. While out on his boat one day he catches a young woman in his trawling net. Remarkably, she's alive. 

Director Neil Jordan has fun playing with the ambiguity of Ondine's true essence. He cleverly has it both ways: she is both a mythological sea creature and a very real human with a very real past that inevitably comes back to haunt her. 

It works on multiple levels: as a gentle smalltown love story, as an escapist fantasy in the vein of Local Hero, and as a kind of modern fairytale. 

Alison Barry is absolutely wonderful as Syracuse’s young daughter suffering from kidney failure. It’s rare to see a child actor with such composure, wit and timing. And Alicja Bachleda gets it just right as the troubled, enigmatic Ondine, who never denies being a "selkie". 

The supporting cast are also excellent, including Stephen Rea as the local priest and Dervla Kirwan as Syracuse's alcoholic ex-wife.

Safe House (2012)

Ryan Reynolds plays Matt Weston, a CIA officer stationed at a safe house in South Africa. His relatively quiet life is shattered by the arrival of Tobin Frost (Denzel Washington), a CIA operative gone rogue. Weston plans to deliver Frost to the agency, but slowly becomes aware that his faith in the integrity of that institution may be founded. 

This is a slick, efficient thriller that seems somewhat derivative. Certainly the Jason Bourne films were a major influence. Washington has presence; Reynolds less so. Better than either is Vera Farmiga as Catherine Linklater, the one CIA operative who doesn’t seem to be corrupt.

Plot-wise it’s all a little predictable. Of course the CIA bosses turn out to be baddies – a twist you could guess within just a few minutes. I also didn’t really enjoy the excessively filtered visuals, which at times masked what was actually going on. But it’s an enjoyable romp nonetheless.

You Can Count on Me (2000)

Absolutely brilliant drama written and directed by Kenneth Lonergan.  

Laura Linney and Mark Ruffalo star as Sammy and Terry, a sister and brother who lost their parents in a car crash when they were young. Sammy has stayed in her home town and her family house, living as a single mother with her son Rudy (Rory Culkin). Terry is a troubled drifter who has spent some time in prison. When he comes to stay with Sammy, you see Terry form a bond with his nephew and Sammy’s increasing confusion as she tries to resolve her complicated love life – including a fling with her boss (Matthew Broderick) as well as wrestling with being a mother and a sister to a complicated brother and son. 

It’s tender and extremely moving. There’s gentle humour, and the script is perfectly judged. Linney and Ruffalo deliver astounding performances that feel incredibly real. Ruffalo in particular has such an expressive face that you can’t take your eyes off him.

Roman Holiday (1953)

Hugely charming romantic comedy.

Audrey Hepburn plays a princess from an unnamed country, who has a stifling life of rigid routine and protocol. While on a royal visit to Rome, she escapes her palace security in search of adventure. She meets an American journalist (Gregory Peck), who aims to write up the story and exploit it for money. But inevitably the pair fall in love. 

It’s very funny in places but it’s also tender and touching. Initially light and frothy, it acquires real emotional depth in its later stages – especially since you realise it can’t offer a simplistic happy ending.

Kelly’s Heroes (1970)

Baffling film set in World War II. 

Clint Eastwood and Telly Savalas lead a group of American soldiers in France on a mission to retrieve a stash of Nazi gold, aided by Donald Sutherland. 

It tries to be a comedy, but isn’t funny. It completely lacks dramatic tension, too, so it can’t work as a war film either. The beginning is painfully slow. When the mission finally gets underway it improves a little but the ending is a major disappointment. 

I have no idea what the film was trying to achieve. Clint Eastwood is wasted in his part, and there’s even a fake “Western” scene added in to make the most of his popularity in that field. His 1970 haircut makes no attempt to look like it’s from the 1940s. Likewise, Donald Sutherland’s awkward, embarrassing hippy character is a deliberate anachronism. But why? Is it intended to be a subversive parody of contemporary (i.e., 1970) American culture?

There could have been a decent wartime comedy or satire in there somewhere, but director Brian G. Hutton fails to find it. 

One of the weirdest films I’ve ever seen, and not in a good way.

Melinda and Melinda (2004)

One of the better later-era films written and directed by Woody Allen.

Is life fundamentally comic or tragic? A group of writers sit around a table discussing it. We, the viewers, see their debate explored through two versions of the same story, both centred on the actions of Melinda (Radha Mitchell) – a woman with a complicated history who arrives unannounced at her friends’ New York home.

It’s an odd experiment. I found both of the stories engaging. Will Ferrell is good in the witty, self-deprecating role Woody Allen would have played if he’d cast himself, but Chloë Sevigny and Jonny Lee Miller seem merely wooden as Laurel and Lee. Glossy and a little shallow, parts of the film are a little like an episode of Friends, with relationship-based conversations taking place in luxury apartments.

There are some funny lines and some enjoyable moments. It’s worth watching for Radha Mitchell’s versatile acting and considerable charm.

Shaun of the Dead (2004)

An unambitious salesman named Shaun (Simon Pegg) gets caught up in a zombie apocalypse. He has to save his mother (Penelope Wilton), get back with his girlfriend (Kate Ashfield) and deal with his friends Ed (Nick Frost), Dianne (Lucy Davis) and David (Dylan Moran). 

It has a fresh sense of humour, and the jokes never let up. But it also works as a horror drama, utilising all of the tropes associated with that genre in a witty homage to George Romero’s zombie classics.

Sleeping with the Enemy (1991)

Thriller starring Julia Roberts as a woman married to the controlling, abusive Martin (Patrick Bergin). She fakes her death and escapes to begin a new life, but he pursues her…

It’s a competent thriller with plenty of suspense and some real scares. The main flaw – and it’s a big one – is that Martin lacks charm and magnetism. You can’t imagine her ever having been attracted to him. He doesn't have any presence. The part would be so much more effective if he came across as funny, popular and confident – rather than an obvious weirdo with zero charisma. 

Julia Roberts is excellent, however. I like the understated way she plays her character. 

The title isn’t quite right, but perhaps was intended to give a “sexy” allure to a film with the very unsexy theme of domestic violence.

Deconstructing Harry (1997)

Written and directed by Woody Allen, this is one of his less impressive efforts. Harry (Allen) is a bestselling writer who has angered friends and family by putting them into his stories in only loosely fictionalised form. This indiscretion gets him into trouble again and again. 

The film tells his story, partly through visualisations of the stories he created, and it works on multiple levels in a very post-modern kind of way. As a narrative device, that’s welcome. But there are major flaws. There are some good lines but overall it’s just not funny enough. Some of the fantasy sequences (such as a trip to Hell) fall flat. There’s also something quite distasteful about it. We see Harry take off on a road trip with a prostitute, kidnapping his own child along the way – not exactly hilarious. 

Allen seems out of place against the glamorous Elizabeth Shue and Kirstie Alley, so the benefit of a skilled, all-star cast is diminished by that jarring mismatch. Also featured are Richard Benjamin, Billy Crystal, Paul Giamatti, Mariel Hemingway, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Tobey Maguire, Demi Moore, Stanley Tucci and Robin Williams.

The most interesting aspect is the unusual editing, with sudden jump-cuts within scenes. As such, it seems to predict the annoying tic later used by countless YouTubers.

Oliver! (1968)

Remarkable musical adapted from the stage show adapted from the Dickens novel. 

Mark Lester plays Oliver Twist, an orphan expelled from a workhouse who falls in with a London group of pickpocket urchins working for the complicated, enigmatic Fagin (Ron Moody). But Bill Sikes (Oliver Reed) threatens the safety of their little society with increasingly violent criminal behaviour.

Lester is an odd choice for the main part. He has a girlish voice and little star quality, but somehow he works because of the way the events of the story revolve around him. Far more impressive is Jack Wild as the charismatic Artful Dodger. And Shani Wallis is perfect as the conflicted Nancy, caught between loving Sikes despite everything and wanting to do what's right for Oliver.

The real star of the film is the music. The songs, by Lionel Bart, are distinctive and memorable, and I was amazed how many of them I already knew simply because of their place in popular culture.

It's also good to see Leonard Rossiter as Mr. Sowerberry, even though he has minimal on-screen time.

Super Size Me (2004)

Scary documentary made by and starring Morgan Spurlock, who spends a month eating nothing but McDonalds fast food in order to highlight the health risks of doing so. The effects on his physical and mental state are dramatic and remarkable. He gains weight, damages his liver and experiences mood swings and depression. 

It’s a brave and quite reckless way to make a point, but you have to admire him for sticking to his plan. The various interviews with increasingly alarmed doctors and nutritionists provide a sobering commentary. 

Fascinating stuff, it would be quite difficult to watch if he wasn’t so engaging a character.

Deception (2008)

Thriller. 

Jonathan McQuarry (Ewan McGregor) is a dull, socially withdrawn accountant who befriends Wyatt Bose (Hugh Jackman), a charismatic lawyer. Bose introduces McQuarry to “The List”, a secret club for people who crave the excitements of “intimacy without intricacy”. But it turns out that McQuarry is being scammed, and soon finds himself a murder suspect. Meanwhile, he falls for a mysterious woman (Michelle Williams) who goes missing. 

It’s tense and keeps you guessing. There’s a distinct Hitchcock influence to the plot, especially in the way we see McQuarry learn that everything he thought he knew was just an illusion devised to trick him. 

The three leads are all strong and McGregor performs better than usual, with more presence and a more believable character. The only thing that doesn’t quite convince is his character transformation. He’s too easily turned into a different kind of person for the final part of the story, which makes the ending seem a little silly. It’s also a shame that the plot thread about the investigating detective (Lisa Gay Hamilton) isn’t better developed.

Everest (2015)

Disaster/survival film about the true-life events of the 1996 Mount Everest disaster involving two climbing groups, led by Rob Hall (Jason Clarke) and Scott Fischer (Jake Gyllenhaal). Everything turns nasty when a storm blows in and the mountaineers find themselves badly underprepared. 

It’s an extremely tense drama that’s all the more affecting because these events actually happened. 

Josh Brolin plays Beck Weathers, who survives but loses his hands and nose to frostbite. Robin Wright plays his wife back home, hoping to coordinate a helicopter rescue attempt. 

Keira Knightley plays Rob Hall’s wife and does the “terrified spouse stuck at home” part better than most, probably because the role is fully developed and she’s given a character to explore. 

Also excellent is Emily Watson as Helen Wilton, the base camp manager. Her experience of the escalating horror conveys just what it must have been like to witness this nightmare and be powerless to stop it. 

The film doesn’t moralise or pass judgement on why the deaths occurred. Instead, it pieces together a narrative that lets you make up your own mind.

Bend It Like Beckham (2012)

Comedy drama. 

Jesminder “Jess” Bhamra (Parminder Nagra) is a football enthusiast with a special talent for the game, but her parents don’t approve and want her to follow a traditional Sikh path in life. When Jess meets Jules (Keira Knightley) and team coach Joe (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) she realises that football might be her future after all. 

There’s lots to love about this film. The three leads are all excellent and deliver refreshing, emotive performances. What lets it down is the awkward presentation of the older generation. There’s an excruciatingly hammy performance by Juliet Stevenson as Jules’ mother. She’s embarrassing to watch and I never once believed they were related. Her father (Frank Harper) is almost as bad. In fact, all four of the girls’ parents are represented as one-dimensional “types”. There’s a woeful lack of subtlety and nuance in the characterisation. Much better is Archie Panjabi as Jess’s older sister, who is planning to marry. The dynamic between the two girls is tender and has the all-important ring of truth about it. 

The music sometimes seems misjudged, used in fast-cut, intrusive “pop video” sequences that undermine the drama. It could have been grittier and tighter (like Brassed Off, perhaps), but parts of it feel like an episode of Grange Hill. 

That said, it ultimately wins you over with a rousing, feel-good finale, and the simple charm of the two footballing friends is sweet and touching.

The Departed (2006)

Directed by Martin Scorsese, this remarkable crime thriller is as good as any. 

In Boston. Irish Mob boss Frank Costello (Jack Nicholson) places Colin Sullivan (Matt Damon) as a spy within the police force. Sullivan quickly rises up the ranks, becoming a highly respected detective, and protects Costello by feeding him information. Meanwhile, the police assign undercover agent Billy Costigan (Leonardo DiCaprio) to infiltrate Costello’s criminal gang. And both of them end up dating the same police psychologist (Vera Farmiga as Dr. Madolyn Madden). 

It’s incredibly clever. The plot moves fast enough to make your head spin, but Scorsese’s storytelling gifts are such that it works. 

The all-star cast also includes Alec Baldwin, Martin Sheen, Ray Winstone and Mark Wahlberg. The soundtrack is terrific, although a repeat use of the intro to “Gimme Shelter” by the Rolling Stones in the same scene seems like an error. 

As usual with Scorsese, you get everything – a masterclass in film-making. The characters are richly fleshed out. It’s thrilling. It looks visually stunning. And the script is really sharp.

Stepmom (1998)

Hot-shot photographer Isabel (Julia Roberts) tries to get on with the kids of her new partner Luke (Ed Harris) from his previous marriage to Jackie (Susan Sarandon). Then Jackie, the perfect mother, is diagnosed with cancer and Isabel, who Jackie distrusts and resents, needs to step in and take a greater role in the children’s lives. 

It’s a reasonable premise and the three leads are all charismatic and watchable. What slightly ruins the film is the presence of two child actors (Jena Malone and Liam Aiken) who seem a little too self-conscious and self-aware. I never really believed they were real people with real feelings – perhaps because they speak lines that were clearly written for them by adults. 

The emotional draw is watching the two women come to terms with their situations and with each other, which of course they eventually do. No one seems to mind that Ed Harris isn’t around much. Also, as in so many films, the characters’ wealth and upward mobility is never in question. Jackie lives in a mansion that seems to get bigger every time we see it. That’s not really a flaw of the film – rich people have problems, too – but it does seem to lessen any drama that the script attempts to build up.

The American President (1995)

Directed by Rob Reiner, this is a charming film about the US President (Michael Douglas) attempting to balance the challenges of his job and his personal life. Annette Bening plays an environmental lobbyist who he falls in love with. Martin Sheen and Michael J. Fox play members of the presidential staff. And Richard Dreyfuss is the political opponent who tries to build a scandal around the new couple and their unexpected relationship. 

It works as drama and romance, with flashes of comedy. It’s also gently political and makes you wish that politics was that simple and idealistic today. 

All of the leads are on top form, and Douglas demonstrates once again that he's more versatile than people might think.

The African Queen (1951)

Masterpiece directed by John Huston and starring Humphrey Bogart and Katharine Hepburn. 

From the DVD box: “During World War One, a hard drinking river trader (Bogart) and a prim missionary (Hepburn) are forced to take a hazardous river expedition together, encountering tropical hazards, nefarious German officers and a surprising romance.”

The chemistry between the pair is extremely strong. There’s gentle humour and a surprising amount of tenderness, without ever resorting to sentimentality. It also works as an adventure story, a war film, a rom-com and a character study. There are elements of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn in the couple floating down the river with the ever-present threat of an alien land in turmoil just beyond the river banks.

My only criticism is that the death of Hepburn’s missionary brother is never really explained. It would have made better narrative sense for the Germans to have killed him, instead of him suddenly being struck down by fever. Otherwise, The African Queen is a flawless thing of wonder.

Hope Springs (2012)

Light drama with comic moments. 

Kay and Arnold Soames (Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones) have a stale and formulaic marriage, devoid of tenderness. Kay seeks to remedy that when she employs a Maine therapist (Steve Carell) to help them rekindle their former passion. But Arnold resists. 

It’s intriguing in that it could have become a Nancy Meyers-type lifestyle-aspiration film, but it stays just on the right side of watchable. All three leads are strong (even if Streep's mannerisms begin to irritate), and some of the therapy discussions are thought-provoking enough to suggest a real depth to the script.

The problem comes from the film’s strange reluctance to explain what went wrong in the marriage. Why can’t Arnold stand to touch his wife? That’s never illuminated. Plus, his U-turn at the end feels unlikely and bolted on, without a convincing motivation for this sudden change of character. And why does the therapist bring everything down to physical intimacy? What about the couple spending an evening simply talking or holding hands? Instead, it’s all about the sex (for example, they are assigned the task of trying it in the cinema) – perhaps because that makes for a more titillating story. 

Plus, the music is awkwardly intrusive. 

Elisabeth Shue is underused as a woman who works in a bar. She only gets one scene but she's probably the best thing in the film.

The Aviator (2004)

Biopic of billionaire entrepreneur Howard Hughes, directed by Martin Scorsese and starring Leonardo DiCaprio. 

It’s a sad and engrossing story that expertly details Hughes’ decline into paranoia, social reclusiveness and the crippling discomfort of extreme OCD. 

Scorsese’s usual tricks are all displayed, but it’s refreshing to see them used in a non-crime story. At times it all seems a little too stylised, but then Scorsese handles this visual flamboyance so well that he makes it work. Plus, it’s a film about the veneer of Hollywood success so that lavish styling serves to further underscore the subject matter. 

DiCaprio is absolutely superb as the visibly crumbling Hughes. Cate Blanchett is also at her best, capturing the quick-witted energy of Katharine Hepburn. 

Also popping up are Kate Beckinsale (as Ava Gardner), Ian Holm, John C. Reilly, Alec Baldwin, Jude Law, Gwen Stefani (as Jean Harlow), Willem Dafoe and Alan Alda (as Senator Ralph Owen Brewster).

Never Say Never Again (1983)

An “unofficial” James Bond film in that Eon were not involved. Sean Connery, however, was. He reprises the 007 role in a remake of Thunderball. It’s quite interesting to see that 1965 film recreated with a fair few differences. 

Edward Fox plays the irate M. Pamela Salem makes for a rather bland Miss Moneypenny. Rowan Atkinson plays a comedic Foreign Office representative named Nigel Small-Fawcett. Kim Basinger is Domino and Barbara Carrera plays SPECTRE agent Fatima Blush. Max von Sydow is underused as Ernst Stavro Blofeld, with the real villain being Klaus Maria Brandauer as Maximillian Largo. Irvin Kershner directs.

There are some enjoyable action sequences, including a motorcycle chase and a tokenistic jet-pack interlude, but the ending peters out somewhat. The bomb doesn’t even have a countdown display, so that removes any tension. 

It looks lower-budget than the official Bonds of this period. But if you like the sillier aspects of 007, there’s plenty to enjoy.

A Good Year (2006)

Adapted by Ridley Scott from Peter Mayle’s novel, this is a surprisingly low-key drama. Russell Crowe stars as Max, a London-based trader who inherits his uncle’s home and vineyard in Provence. He travels to the estate, which he plans to sell, but slowly becomes absorbed into a simpler, quieter way of life and falls for a local (Marion Cotillard). Albert Finney plays Uncle Henry, who we only get to meet in flashback, and Abbie Cornish plays the young Californian visitor who may or may not be his daughter.

It’s appealing escapism, but ultimately it’s light, forgettable fluff. The scenic locations look nice and there’s a lot of wine. But the wine sub-plot isn’t satisfyingly explained: was the lousy produce being used to jinx the sale of the estate or was it intended to obscure their better wines as part of a shady business trick?

An enjoyable enough two hours, it only works because Crowe is so charismatic and magnetic.

Haywire (2012)

Dreadful thriller. 

Private intelligence agent Mallory Kane (a fundamentally miscast Gina Carano) is double-crossed by the people who recruited her, and has to go on the run. 

Directed self-consciously by Steven Soderbergh, it has an excessive use of filters and intrusive “funky” music by David Holmes in place of dialogue. Plus, despite all the fighting (Carano was a mixed martial artist), most of the “action” scenes are surprisingly dull. 

It’s remarkable that big names such as Michael Douglas, Ewan McGregor, Antonio Banderas and Michael Fassbender got themselves involved in such a clichéd mess. The script – what there is of one – is extremely poor. The plotting is confused. The complete lack of a character for the main part is conspicuous. Carano simply doesn’t have the screen presence or acting ability to carry off the lead role. She was better as a supporting character in The Mandalorian, except that Lucasfilm sacked her after she made anti-mask, pro-Trump statements.

There’s literally not one good thing about Haywire – that title bears no relation to anything in the story – except that parts of it are unintentionally funny. The worst film I’ve seen for quite a long time.

Heartburn (1986)

Adapted by Nora Ephron from her own novel, this is a slightly disappointing drama about the ups and downs of a relationship. Meryl Streep and Jack Nicholson play Rachel and Mark, and the film focuses on the couple's story from first meeting, through marrying, having children and facing up to Mark’s history of infidelity. 

There's some intriguing casting. Stockard Channing seems underused as a friend (she's too charismatic to be given such a minor part). Jeff Daniels is credible as Rachel’s editor. In his first film role, Kevin Spacey plays a thief on the subway.

Split between New York and Washington, D.C., the bittersweet narrative has comic moments but isn’t a comedy as such – despite what’s presented on the DVD box.

Carly Simon provides the theme song in “Coming Around Again”, which also recurs as “Itsy Bitsy Spider”. 

It’s not quite as engaging as you might hope. Streep and Nicholson are always excellent, but it could have been sharper, more poignant and more funny.